How to avoid intimidating others
I don’t care if it’s the CEO of your company, your dream girl/guy, or even a group of strangers in the audience at your upcoming presentation during the next staff meeting.The key is to remember (and believe) this: When you walk into the same room with them, Unfortunately, there are some less-than-positive characters out there who actually enjoy intimidating other people. The opportunities are abundant when you stop allowing fear to get the better of you. You might make a new friend, a new career connection or get a date!That’s why I talk about the dangers of living a fear-controlled life so often on this blog (like here, here and here for starters.)While that’s true, there’s one form of fear that I haven’t really addressed up until this point, and it actually might be the most common form of fear that exists. Or more specifically, Before I dive in, a quick disclaimer–I’m not a psychiatrist (obviously), so if you have a legitimate full-blown phobia of other people, then this blog post definitely isn’t for you.But for everyone else who sometimes feels scared or intimidated by other people for whatever reason, take a minute to fully absorb this quote: I’m a 42-year old man, and I’m not embarrassed to share that it took me close to 35 years of my life to get this lesson burned into my consciousness.To call them a “hostile audience” wouldn’t even begin to describe these people. If that class happened 10 years ago, I would have run out of that room in tears and considered throwing myself off of the nearest bridge.
We are also beautifully different from one another, too -- which means all of us have some unique value and flavor to add to a conversation or social setting. Here are some reasons why other people should not intimidate you: 1. The fear of others is generated within us, not by the person in question.
Here are some cuts from the soul-destroying album that played on repeat in my brain every time I walked into a room: These beliefs ruled most of my adult life, and the results of these beliefs were devastating.
Because I lived in fear of other people and their opinions of me, it almost destroyed my career, my social life, and anything else meaningful in my life.
Similarly, I introduced myself and asked a bit about her and her work. When I shared that he does come across as a little aloof he was surprised as it is the opposite of his intention.
A friend of a friend of mine who appears standoffish confided in me one night at drinks he is shy and loves it when people interact with him. Well here is one universal truth, well put by Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And I don't need to meet you to know that there is nothing inferior about you, my friend.
Case in point: A couple of years ago, I was asked to give a class to a group of “interpersonally challenged” physicians on how to effectively communicate with their nursing staff. Let’s just say that I wasn’t warmly received when I walked into the room.